Mommy found... exhaustion mixed with love!!

41 weeks, 2, err 3 days.

After nearly two weeks of labor, I, like nearly everyday "overdue" pregnant woman, was nearly convinced I'd be pregnant forever.

My minute long contractions every 3-5 minutes always got more painful the later it got, so my husband and I decided we'd just stay up all night.  Best case scenario, we'd get to meet our baby.  Worst case scenario, I'd be slightly more exhausted than I already was.  We watched Dexter in the bathroom by laptop.  Well, my husband did.  I couldn't tell you anything that happened in those episodes.  By 3 am we were both so exhausted we were ready to give up and go to bed.  I decided the bathroom floor was the best spot for me to sleep (uhm, pregnancy brain?) and I directed hubby to the floor in the hallway.

I tried to lay down and sleep through them, but couldn't, so although I hadn't realized it until that point, the contractions had gotten stronger (although not any closer together or different in pattern then they had been for weeks).  We checked how far dilated I was out of curiosity at that point, but I wasn't more than a centimeter more than I had been for weeks - ie, not more than 3-4 at 3am, although a lot more effaced.  I didn't want to make a mess anywhere but the bathroom, so Jay brought a blanket into the hall to try to sleep and I stayed on the bathroom floor.

Not 5 minutes or so after I made Jay go to bed I puked for a few minutes and from that point on every contraction brought involuntary pushing along with it (including uncontrollable urination/bowel movements, eww!).  After the puking the first thing that ran through my head was, oh, this is why people get epidurals.  Had I been in a hospital I probably would have asked for drugs at that point.  I don't know if Jay got any sleep at all, but eventually he got up and lit a candle so there'd be some light.  He noticed that I'd finally had bloody show and tried to encourage me that it looked like we were actually going to get a baby at some point.  He re-ran the bath and I spent the rest of the labor in the tub.  Unlike what people say, I didn't notice the tub to be of any help at all regarding the lessening of pain, but I saw it as a way to contain the mess and a smoother transition for baby into air...  I was a little worried that I felt I had to push when I knew that I was no where near open enough to get the baby out - but there wasn't really anything I could do about it - so I figured if it lasted more than 12 hrs like that then we'd just call 911.

Hours passed like that, obviously the pain got worse.  I usually go inside myself when I'm in pain, so I wasn't expecting to have to scream so much.  I have no idea how safe or not this is, but I eventually gave up on my uterus and used my hands to push him down from the top of my belly.  It wasn't until I started doing this that I felt like any progress was made at all.  I didn't want to be touched or helped at all, but Jay did make sure I drank throughout the night.  He tried to make me eat crackers but I about punched him the second time he asked me to eat something.  Apparently after Drake crowned it didn't take more than half an hour to get him out, but it seemed like a lot longer to me.  Our water bag didn't break until his head was completely out.  I was expecting his body to come out easily after his head (from other people's stories), but no.  It still took 4-6 contractions before his body was out, although he did turn easily, and I could see the progress each time.

When I brought him out of the water (around 6:30am after nearly 4 hours of pushing) he whimpered for a few seconds, but quieted down at the sound of our voices.  He was breathing almost instantaneously and his eyes were wide and looking around.  I held him in the tub for about 15-30 minutes or more waiting for the placenta, but gave up on that and we cut the cord in the tub (it wasn't ever wrapped around anything).  Jay took Drake and dried him off and then the placenta came almost right after that.  I was also expecting that to be easier from stories I'd read.  Uhm, no, you actually have to push that thing out too, and it hurt a lot, almost more than his body, although it was quicker.

We laid garbage bags and towels on the couch, and Drake and I pretty much stayed in that spot for a week.  No one ever really describes what it feels like after labor/delivery.  I had no idea it'd be nearly impossible to stand up, let alone walk.  Or so painful to pee...

Drake nursed right away and has been a very happy baby.  He coos a lot and makes these squeaky noises that I never knew infants did.  He really doesn't cry at all, but he fusses when he poos (speaking of, he didn't pass meconium until after he was safely out of my belly).  I did tear my right labia, and probably should have gotten stitches...)  

Drake weighed in at around 10.5 lbs (I'm liberally 5'2'' and 105lbs pre baby weight, maxed at 137).  His butt to his head is longer than my entire torso, and I can't visualize how he ever fit inside.

I feel lucky that our experience went pretty much exactly as planned, although birth for me was not an "amazing" experience or anything I'd ever want to do again.

Mommy found... impatience!

I know that I'm not "overdue."  I know that going past 40 weeks is totally normal.  I know that it is the other people who have screwed with their bodies and their babies that are not doing what is natural.

But I am jealous.

Two of my friend's wives were due the same day as me.  Both have babies, about 3 and 6 weeks old, already.

I know my boy will come when he is ready.  I just want to cuddle him now!!!

Mommy found... two lines..!?

I had been dragged to the casino's "all you can eat" sea food platter... not totally against my will.  I, of course, am vegetarian and had no interest in the crab legs my friend was so excited about... but I thought I might enjoy a free dinner -- even if it ended up being salad and dessert.

I couldn't have been more wrong.  The smell of sea food was retched. I made it through most of the meal nibbling on fruit before I made a mad dash for the restroom.

I didn't make it.  I grabbed some poor souls crab-skeleton-bowl and puked my guts out.

Ugh, I thought.  Second flu bug this year.

My older, wiser friend noted on the car ride home, "Are you sure you're not pregnant?"